In Vietnam, an increasing number of young people are postponing marriage. The single population has grown to approximately 20 million, with the average age for first marriages rising to 27.3 years. Factors such as the need for economic stability, psychological readiness for married life, rising housing costs, and changing family dynamics have shifted marriage from a societal expectation to a personal choice made when individuals feel prepared.
According to local reports from VnExpress and Lao Dong on August 10, 2024, Vietnam's single population was estimated at around 20 million, representing about 20% of the country's 100 million residents. The average age for first marriages has increased from 24.1 years in 1999 to 25.2 years in 2019, and is projected to reach 27.3 years by 2024. In some regions, the average age for first marriages has surpassed 30.
Delayed Marriage: A Shift to 'Marriage When Ready'
The trend of delayed marriage cannot be attributed solely to personal choice. Sociologists suggest that young people in Vietnam are facing pressures to first secure education, employment, income stability, and housing. Marriage has become a stage that individuals choose after meeting various conditions, rather than a starting point in life.
A case in point is a man in his 30s living in Hanoi, who shared that he spends nearly two hours communicating with women he meets through matchmaking services and dating sites. Over the past five years, he has posted his profile on dating platforms six times and has even used paid matchmaking services. He has also fallen victim to scams targeting single men. Despite reaching out to multiple women simultaneously to increase his chances, he finds it challenging to transition to marriage.
Experts attribute the delay in marriage among the youth to the rapid modernization of Vietnamese society. Ngo Thi Phuong Lan, a professor at Ho Chi Minh City University of Social Sciences and Humanities, noted that the pressures of competition and high living costs have made it difficult for young people to manage multiple responsibilities. She stated, “The delay in marriage is not due to the youth becoming more selective, but rather a way of adapting to the economic and social conditions of modern society.”
Psychological readiness is also a significant factor in the decision to delay marriage. A 20-something individual from Ninh Binh expressed a desire to marry only after achieving both economic stability and mental preparedness. He views the age of around 30 as an ideal time for marriage, emphasizing the need for a mindset not only as a spouse but also in addressing issues that arise in married life and preparing for parenthood.
Psychological counseling expert Nguyen Hoang Ai diagnosed the trend of delayed marriage as a result of multiple overlapping factors. He explained that young people today have more opportunities for education, career development, and life experiences than previous generations, leading them to view marriage as a choice rather than an obligation. “In the past, marriage was seen as a milestone that one had to go through, but now many people view it as just one option,” he said, adding that individuals are more focused on finding the right partner rather than marrying simply because they have reached a certain age.
“Without Money, Marriage is Difficult”: Diverse Reactions to Economic Realities
Online reactions to the trend of delayed marriage have largely centered on the financial burdens involved. One commenter noted that without stable assets or economic power, it is better not to start a family. They argued that financial issues and the burden of raising children can lead to conflicts and stress in marriage, particularly after children are born.
Conversely, some shared experiences suggesting that late marriage does not necessarily lead to failure. One individual recounted marrying at 36, stating that although neither partner had much, they managed to buy a house the same year and welcomed their first child the following year. This commenter emphasized that financial conditions alone should not dictate the possibility of marriage.
Others pointed out that family and societal expectations can complicate the decision to marry. One person shared that their brother faced family opposition when dating a younger partner due to concerns about her age and lack of employment. Later, when he dated a divorced woman, the family also disapproved, leading to his eventual single status. Now, the family is pushing for matchmaking, but the brother shows little interest in marriage.
Some commenters noted that the trend of delaying marriage is not unique to Vietnam. One remarked, “The trend of starting a family later is occurring not just in Vietnam but in many countries around the world,” reflecting a broader societal change rather than an individual issue.
Experts believe that simply encouraging marriage will not change this trend. Wei Jun Jin Yong, a researcher at the National University of Singapore's Family and Population Research Center, described the delay in marriage in Vietnam as a result of “compressed modernization.” He noted that while economic and social changes are progressing rapidly, traditional expectations for women to fulfill caregiving roles remain entrenched.
Yong stated, “When women achieve economic independence, marriage becomes a choice,” adding that the perceived opportunity costs of becoming a wife and mother make marriage a more cautious decision. He highlighted that rising housing costs and expectations for “perfect parenting” are dividing young people into those who do not wish to marry and those who want to but feel financially constrained.
The solution, experts argue, lies not in placing the burden on individuals but in creating an environment that reduces the pressures of marriage and parenting. Yong suggested the need for housing support, equal job opportunities, expanded flexible work arrangements, enhanced maternity leave, and improved childcare networks. Professor Lan also cautioned against the notion that complete stability is a prerequisite for marriage, explaining that couples can build stability together over time.
* This article has been translated by AI.
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