Research has found that understanding a partner's emotions does not necessarily lead to a better relationship.
According to a study published in the international journal Current Psychology, researchers from the Department of Psychology at Italy's Sacred Heart Catholic University analyzed the roles of empathy, emotion regulation, and perspective-taking in romantic relationships among adolescents and young adults.
The researchers searched psychological databases including PsycINFO, Scopus, and Web of Science for studies published from 2014 to August 2025. They reviewed 414 studies after excluding duplicates from an initial 701, ultimately analyzing 26 studies that met their criteria.
The analysis focused primarily on individuals aged 14 to 35. Studies involving participants who were married or cohabiting were excluded to concentrate on early romantic relationships.
The findings revealed that the effectiveness of empathy depends on whether the response is directed toward the partner or oneself. 'Empathic concern'—the desire to understand and help a partner in distress—was consistently linked to higher relationship satisfaction and constructive conflict resolution.
In contrast, experiencing 'personal distress'—feeling anxious and stressed after witnessing a partner's pain—was associated with lower relationship satisfaction and negative conflict resolution strategies. The results on empathy were based on ten effect estimates derived from seven studies.
Additionally, the research suggested that feeling empathetic is less important than the partner's perception of being understood and cared for. Some studies indicated that a partner's evaluation of empathic attitudes correlated with relationship satisfaction, while self-assessed empathic concern did not show a direct link to satisfaction.
Differences were also noted in emotion regulation strategies. 'Cognitive reappraisal,' which involves interpreting situations from different perspectives to alter emotional impact, and adaptive emotion regulation were generally positively associated with relationship satisfaction and constructive conflict resolution.
Conversely, 'expressive suppression,' which involves holding back emotions, showed a negative trend. Of the eight related effect estimates, five indicated a negative correlation with relationship indicators, with no positive outcomes identified. However, some studies did not find a direct link between expressive suppression and relationship satisfaction, suggesting that effects may vary by context and culture.
Five studies addressing 'perspective-taking' also showed positive correlations with relationship satisfaction, problem-solving, and conflict management, with no reported negative direct effects.
However, only two studies directly investigated 'theory of mind'—inferring a partner's thoughts and intentions—in the context of adolescent and young adult romantic relationships. The interactions between empathy, emotion regulation, and theory of mind have yet to be directly validated.
The researchers cautioned against interpreting the findings as a causal relationship, such as 'empathy leads to better relationships' or 'suppressing emotions worsens relationships.' Among the included studies, 15 were cross-sectional, and many used non-representative samples. The designs and measurement methods varied across studies, preventing a meta-analysis of effect sizes. The researchers synthesized the results based on the consistency of effect directions.
Limitations included the broad age range of 14 to 35 and a focus on studies from Europe and the United States. Some studies did not completely separate romantic relationships from other close relationships, such as friendships or family ties. There was also a lack of research examining empathy and emotion regulation in digitally mediated romantic relationships.
This literature review suggests that the form of empathy may be as important as its quantity. While concern for a partner is linked to positive relationship indicators, being overwhelmed by a partner's pain can lead to negative outcomes. Experiencing shared pain and being swept away by a partner's suffering may not represent the same type of empathy.
* This article has been translated by AI.
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